Am I allowed to make up words? I will just assume for the day that I can. Fair warning, this particular blog is more of a vent. Hey, can not say I did not warn you! I know that hate exists, I get it, I understand that not everyone can get alone and that when someone doesn't like you they can be mean. It is not acceptable but it happens and I just hope that if it happens there is a reason. That is not always the case.
Being one of the only white people in my neighborhood, I get the "We don't like you cause you are white" all the time, I shrug it off and laugh. Racism is something we have all dealt with or heard about. Being the girl who preferred, well still prefer to, hang out with the guys I always got the "Oh you can't do that you are a girl". OK OK so sexism exists, we have all been there as well. But Weightism? I think it is something we have all experienced and even been guilty of but haven't thought about. I will admit I have seen bigger ladies in certain clothes and thought "wow she shouldn't be wearing that" and I have seen skinny girls with attitudes and thought "Oh what a *^^%^&*&^". We all have, but I would never treat them differently if we were to have a conversation. This weight loss journey has made me look back at things in a whole new light.
When I was skinny I thought everyone was so nice. People would say hello to me, hold doors, pay attention if I had a question. When I went out people wanted to talk to me, be my friend. But when I got bigger I noticed people acted differently towards me. I thought it was me being self conscious, and maybe it was. I felt like people were talking about me, judging me, people were not as friendly, it was harder to get help when I was out doing something, and not as many people randomly said hello. Well my friend and I went out shopping yesterday, the first time I have gone out to the mall shopping in a long time. I hate shopping and I hate the mall, I guess that goes along with being one of the guys. Well the first place I went was to Lane Bryant. I used to love that store, not the prices, but the clothes. Knowing they were made for bigger ladies, it made me feel comfortable to shop there, and there bras are to die for (I AM SO SERIOUS LADIES!) and that is what I went in for yesterday.
They ladies that work in there used to be so nice to me, friendly, perky, and yesterday? I am pretty sure if looks could kill we would not have made it out. No one said hello to us when we walked in, they just gave the stink eye, but said hello to the lady behind us. I went straight back and picked out a few bras I liked to try on since I had no idea what size I was (blatant plug of NSV - 38DD down from a 44H!) and on the way to the dressing room stopped to look at a shirt and heard "Like that would fit her". I looked up and the lady just smiled at me and walked away. And it took me almost 20 minutes to get someone to let me check out. HMPH. So now I am being hated for losing weight?
I just don't understand why people judge the way they do. I have been on this journey for 3 years, and every time I run into someone I haven't seen in awhile I get nervous cause you never know what is going to come of it. Some tell you how great you look and they are proud, some ask how you did it, and others start rumors. I have heard more stories about how I lost weight than I can count! Surgery, drugs, and others, but those two are my favorite. I used to get upset. Now I just laugh and have learned how to be a total smartypants with my answers to questions that are just, well, stupid.
One lady asked me yesterday if I eat. I could have taken the time to explain my plan on myfitnesspal.com but you could tell that she didn't want to hear an answer, so I piped up with "Only dog food, It is great for weight loss and makes my hair shiny" She just walked away. You know what? That will be my next blog. Answers to stupid weight loss questions! I will get on that!
I guess my point in all of this is simple. Do not judge people. Do not listen to rumors. Do not continue those rumors. Always smile. Always say hello. Stick up for yourself. Laugh at yourself. Love yourself. Love others. Apologize. And most importantly, do not let what people say about you get you down. Stay strong. You know they are wrong, hurtful or not, lies do not define who we are and should not be something that we dwell on and think about all the time. Be confident in yourself, and remember to treat people the way you would like to be treated.
Remember to always walk a mile in someone else's shoes. That way you are a mile away and you have their shoes! - Anon